You collect stamps and baseball card and even little bugs,
But when it comes down to it, you want to look like a thug.
You gotta get yourself a knitted cap. You gotta make your ears stay warm.
When it's cold outside and you're freezing to death, protect yourself from the storm.
Chorus:
Wear'em, share'em, keep your head hot.
They don't cost a lot.
Buy'em, fry'em, everybody try'em.
You'll be hip, and they're not.
I know the wool, it makes you itch bad, and it greases up all of your hair.
It's got a gay pom-pom the jocks all hate, so watch your ass and beware.
But a woolen hat, I think is real phat, and your head stays hot in the cold.
When you're buying one, you're a stylin' one, if you're an infant or you're real old.
Chorus