You collect stamps and baseball card and even little bugs,
But when it comes down to it, you want to look like a thug.
You gotta get yourself a knitted cap. You gotta make your ears stay warm.
When it's cold outside and you're freezing to death, protect yourself from the storm.
Wear'em, share'em, keep your head hot.
They don't cost a lot.
Buy'em, fry'em, everybody try'em.
You'll be hip, and they're not.
I know the wool, it makes you itch bad, and it greases up all of your hair.
It's got a gay pom-pom the jocks all hate, so watch your ass and beware.
But a woolen hat, I think is real phat, and your head stays hot in the cold.
When you're buying one, you're a stylin' one, if you're an infant or you're real old.